Ridiculous
by Avalonian Witch
Summary: In the middle of one of Mamoru and Usagi's daily fights, Motoki gives his best friend a not-so ridiculous suggestion. - A Final, 3rd Part has been added by popular demand! Please R&R -
1. Mamoru

Disclaimer: They're not mine. But it doesn't mean I can't twist their lives to my own demented will.

AN: I didn't expect another Mamoru/Usagi one-shot to come to me so quickly.

Edit:

I didn't expect the sequel, on the next chapter, to come to me so quickly either!

Ridiculous

It'd started innocently enough. Motoki had made a not-so helpful comment in the middle of one of their spats. It'd sent him reeling and there was little else he could do but become shell-shocked at what had been suggested. So now he stood on the street with an empty coffee cup in one hand and a mind full of racing thoughts. It had begun with something ridiculous, like always.

* * *

It was the middle of finals week and he was utterly burnt out. His only hope for sanity lay with a quiet, soothing cup of coffee and the cheerful encouragement of his best friend. Of course such chances became immediately slim when she had stormed into the arcade and sat determinately at her favorite video-game station.

"Stupid Haruna-sensei! Good for nothing?! I'll show her! Today's the day I beat this game!"

A part of him panged at the thought that his Odango had been told she was good for nothing. But he had already promised himself that there would be no wandering thoughts of the underage rabbit today. He had enough to stress to deal with and endeavors into thoughts of statutory rape would not help him any. Though he had to admit, the look of determination on her face was fetching.

That same determination quickly became less fetching as the minutes wore on. Screaming, no, howling at the console she stood up and kicked at the air in frustration. One of her shoes, eternally too-big for her foot, came off and landed directly on his head. She gasped softly and for a second he allowed himself to admire the curves of her mouth before his brain registered the pain of the impact.

"Watch it Odango-atama! Just because there's nothing in your head doesn't mean you launch attacks against those of us with brains in ours."

Her eyes watered a little and a wave of guilt washed over him. Briefly he considered wrapping the injured rabbit in his arms and letting out all he had been holding in. It was a ridiculous thought of course and he pushed it away the only way he knew how. He stood and ignored the looks that Motoki, her friends and the other residents of the arcade were giving him. Running his free-hand lazily through his hair he tried his best to infuse his words with venom,

"Congratulations to your sensei for finally figuring out you're a good-for-nothing. I, of course, figured it out ages ago."

He'd gone too far, he knew, but there was no turning back. She was seething and every inch of her seemed to expand with resounding rage. It would have been cute if said rage wasn't directed at him. "Just admit it, Mamoru-baka! You only pick on me so that everyone else will finally pay attention to you! God knows you can't get noticed on your own! And we all know how much you love attention!"

"Oh yes." He said in a long drawl, leaning forward in an attempt to intimidate the young blonde in front of him. "I love getting into collisions every morning. I love having shoes, bookbags and tests with scores under 50% thrown at my head. I love that I can't even come to drink a cup of coffee without hearing your lovely voice hammering away at the Sailor V machine! I love it so-o-o-o very much, Odango. In fact! I think I just plain love you."

He was being ridiculous himself now but he couldn't think of anything else to say. There had been a slight truth to her accusation. He did pick on her for attention. But it wasn't everyone else's attention he had been after, he suddenly realized, it was her own. Motoki seemed to pick up on this fact and leaning casually over the counter he sent his best friend a wicked grin. "Well if you love her so much why don't you marry her?"

Mamoru had just enough grace to stand there for a few seconds. After gathering himself he managed to fake a shudder and walk out of the arcade, coffee cup still in hand. By the time he was down the street most of its contents had been spilt by the shaky motions of a man who had been rocked to his core. He suddenly had no idea what to think, do or say and it scared the hell out of him. Why? Because, upon hearing it, Motoki's suggestion hadn't seemed all that ridiculous to him. Not so ridiculous at all. And that: that was just plain ridiculous.

AN: Review! D:


	2. Usagi

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Never have, never will.

AN: Believe it or not, the idea for this sequel came to me before I read the reviews from last night. I hope it is liked as much. And I hope for reviews! Lots and lots of reviews.

Haruna-Sensei had no idea, but then again neither had he. How were any of them supposed to understand emotional stresses a fourteen-year-old super heroine faces? If she'd thought about it before all this started she would have imagined it as one of her Sailor V games: exciting, fun and easy to redo if something went wrong. All it took was a quarter. But there was no quarter for real life, no reset button.

* * *

She knew she wasn't the most useful of persons sometimes but to be told she wasn't good for anything three times within a twenty-four hour period was just plain ridiculous.

The first time wasn't all too extraordinary. The scantily clad karaoke youma wasn't any stronger than usual but Usagi had made the mistake of wailing helplessly into its microphone. The resulting sound waves had debilitated the senshi long enough for all of them to get hurt. When the battle was over Usagi had to deal with the all-too familiar sound of Rei's scolding. It was only on her way home that she realized that the battle had destroyed her recently completed book report. It was too late to write another. "Great. I finally do my homework and it gets destroyed." She thought, hopelessly. "This is just getting ridiculous!"

There had been no mercy when she showed up late, exhausted and empty-handed to class the next morning. Haruna-Sensei had apparently been subject to a bad date the night before because she immediately launched into a tirade against her petite, blonde student.

"Honestly, Usagi-San! Not only can you _not_ get to class on time you _don't_ even bother to do your homework! Can you do _anything_ right? Can you even _do_ anything? This is just ridiculous! You are such a little good for nothing!"

Usagi took her seat and for the rest of the day had been quiet. It was true that she had never been the best student. She wasn't pretty like Minako, smart like Ami, confident like Rei or athletic like Makoto. She couldn't even walk down the street without crashing into something or someone. Admittedly, lately she'd been trying to crash into a certain someone every time. Sullenly she decided not to explore her feelings for the handsome upperclassmen and instead wallowed in her supposed uselessness. Then a spark of inspiration hit her. If she couldn't be a good super heroine in real life she could at least be a good one via video game!

Her friends knew something was up when she turned down Makoto's lunch offering of the day. Before they could talk to her she'd rushed out of school the second the bell had rung. Filled to the brim with determination she marched triumphantly through the doors of the Crown Arcade.

"Stupid Haruna-sensei! Good for nothing?! I'll show her! Today's the day I beat this game!"

As fate would have it she "died" soon after and the ridiculousness of the situation was too much. Standing up she kicked her way through an imaginary enemy. It was only seconds later that she noticed her shoe had flown clean off her foot and landed atop Mamoru's head.

Letting out a horrified gasp she racked her brain for an apology. Unfortunately for Usagi, life had no reset button and nothing she could have said would have stopped the fight from happening. She stammered and stalled but couldn't come up with anything to say. Mamoru, on the other hand, seemed to have plenty to say.

"Watch it Odango-atama! Just because there's nothing in your head doesn't mean you launch attacks against those of us with brains in ours."

She had a brain! She did! It was just a little bit preoccupied with how ruggedly handsome the man teasing her was. She wanted to cry, to launch herself into his arms and beg for solace from the thought that she wasn't good for anything. Then he said it,

"Congratulations to your sensei for finally figuring out you're a good-for-nothing. I, of course, figured it out _ages_ ago."

She didn't care that Rei thought she wasn't good for anything. It didn't matter that Haruna-sensei believed she couldn't do anything either. But for some reason the fact that, handsome, witty, Mamoru thought she was a good-for-nothing hurt. She could feel tears building in her eyes but didn't want to spill them in front of her friends, who had entered only moments before. Gathering every inch of pain she felt, she spat back,

"Just admit it, Mamoru-baka! You only pick on me so that everyone else will finally pay attention to you! God knows you can't get noticed on your own! And we all know how much you _love_ attention!"

She was proud of herself. What she'd said was true. Every time that the two fought there seemed to be a horde of people looking at them. What really irked her was that she kept on walking into those situations. It'd crossed her mind, of course, that she did it all for his attention. Until recently she'd dismissed the thought as totally ridiculous. Now she wasn't so sure. She became less and less sure when he leaned in and she had to fight a strangled cry of surprise at the feeling of his breath on her lips.

"Oh yes." His slow, husky voice was intoxicating. "I _love_ getting into collisions every morning. I _love_ having shoes, bookbags and tests with scores under 50% thrown at my head. I _love_ that I can't even come to drink a cup of coffee without hearing your _lovely_ voice hammering away at the Sailor V machine! I _love_ it so-o-o-o very much, Odango. In fact! I think I just plain _love_ _you._"

They were words she'd begun to dream of and she'd never thought she would hear out loud. Her heart was fluttering wildly in her chest and it went into overdrive at Motoki's words.

"Well if you love her so much why don't you marry her?"

Images of herself in a white dress, with him at the end of an aisle waiting for her, flooded her mind. He was smiling and she was ecstatic. It wasn't until he walked out of the arcade that she snapped back to reality. He'd looked scared to death and she couldn't help but worry about him. He didn't know that the things he'd said would hurt her so. He, like Haruna-Sensei, had no way of knowing.

So she followed him out. The trail of coffee spilt onto the street helped her find her way to him. Without thinking, without knowing what she would say she tapped him lightly on the shoulder. He was still shaking and there was such conflict raging in his eyes. Then it came to her. Taking his free hand she pressed it to her lips in a comforting kiss and looked up at him with complete devotion. No more hiding. No more thinking the feelings she had were too ridiculous to voice.

"I love you too."

AN: Reviews make me happy. Go make me happy. D:


	3. Haruna

Disclaimer: I can wish upon a star all I want but I will never own them.

AN: Now _this_ sequel was inspired by the reviewers. I hope you like it!

The fiery-haired woman stood on the street in shock. Life wasn't fair, karma didn't exist and fate had a ridiculous sense of humor. That was the only explanation possible. There wasn't anything else that could justify what she was witnessing across the street from herself.

* * *

Sakurada, Haruna had just had the _worst_ date of her life. Not just the worst, the most ridiculous too. Not only had her date shown up with _his wife_, they had both talked nonstop about their sexual exploits and left her with the check. She was pretty sure that they'd taken their waitress with them on their way out too!

It wasn't like she didn't try. She was certainly pretty enough, fit, intelligent. She had a decent job and a nice, clean apartment. In this day and age what kind of ridiculousness was it that _she_ couldn't find a boyfriend? It just wasn't fair! She wanted someone to love, to love her back. She wanted to grow fashionably old with someone! Right now!

Sadly, she knew that the upcoming day wouldn't be pleasant. She wasn't looking forward to the book reports she would have to grade and she knew in her mind that the first person to cross her that day had it in for them. The first person to cross her just happened to be Tsukino, Usagi.

It was well after fifteen minutes from the beginning of class. She could feel a migraine coming on and it arrived at around the same time as Usagi did. Her hair was a mess, her shoelaces undone and she hadn't done the homework that Haruna had so generously given them two weeks to do. This time Haruna decided that she wouldn't let the pretty blonde breeze through life. That anyone should ever have it as easy as Tsukino-san was ridiculous!

"Honestly, Usagi-San! Not only can you _not_ get to class on time you _don't_ even bother to do your homework! Can you do _anything_ right? Can you even _do_ anything? This is just ridiculous! You are such a little good for nothing!"

She felt worlds better once she saw the girl walk dejectedly to her desk. If karma wouldn't right the wrongs of life at least she could. The fact that it came back to bite her in the ass only made her loathe her life more.

Coming out of the convenience store after school, Sakurada was armed with a bento and a couple of beers. If she had to spend her night grading papers at least she could be pleasantly buzzed while doing it. Then she saw it, rather, them.

Tsukino-san was holding onto a handsome young man's hand like her life depended on it. The words were unmistakable even though she had no way of hearing them. "I love you too." A smug little part of her mind willed her to keep watching. The young man looked about ready to faint and she was so sure that Usagi would never land such a handsome guy.

Seconds later the young man took a few steps forward, dropping a coffee cup onto the street. Why he had an empty coffee cup in the first place didn't even cross her mind. Sakurada watched in horror as he gathered her middle-school-aged student in his arms and kissed her the way she had always dreamed of being kissed. Watching Usagi kiss the young man back in what was clearly an explosive experience was too much. In between kisses the two seemed to be gasping out "I love you"s as fast as they could. Growling discontentedly she stormed back to her apartment, not wanting to watch anymore.

Life just wasn't fair! How could young, inept, Usagi end up in the arms of such a handsome young man? Even more, how could such a catch want her back?! How was it that good-for-nothing Tsukino-san had found what was clearly true love?! Before her?! It was RIDICULOUS.

AN: No more sequels. That's it! Review it in memoriam of this cute little three-piece? 8D?


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